Lust of the heart is different than that of the mind. The mind lusts with images–sensual fantasies whose aim is to satisfy the superficialities of the body and not the soul. The amygdale and the somatosensory cortex are partners in crime for our infamous animal-like instincts towards sex. But we’re not animals; we’re creatures longing for fulfillment. The enemy’s goal is to deceive us into thinking that this is the ultimate magnitude of lust–to bring us to sensual fulfillment; it’s hard-wired in our genes, after all, so why fight it? But lust of the mind is simply foreplay.
The lust of the heart burns hotter and more deeply. It points towards our condition as dissatisfied creatures–lonely, empty, and tattered by a sinful world within and around us. Lust of the heart directs us not towards images but towards ideas–companionship, community, communion–ideas much too damaging to the enemy’s scheme, that is, unless they remain as they are: ideas. Lust of the heart causes our innermost to wander, and then to wonder. We wander through different worlds, different options, and different choices, and after our roundtrip fantasy is complete, we wonder: “I wonder if there is a place that will serve me better. I’ve tried every hill and valley, but perhaps the grass is greener across the lake.” Lust of the heart says it’s worth the risk to build the boat–“there is nothing left for me here, after all, so let the journey begin.” And so we paddle. We lose sight of the reward, fought for us with bloody tears and bought for us with iron stakes. Instead, we paddle with wanderlust towards a foggy and unknown place, searching for some sort of reward, and dissatisfied all the while
The gospel says we already have the reward. He is our reward and He has given Himself to us. The journey, therefore, does not begin with outward steps, but inward searching. Yes, it does begin with dissatisfaction–a holy dissatisfaction that yearns and burns for an all-encompassing glory that is unsuited for this lifetime. Then, with minds continuously renewed, that which burns gives way to stillness. Then calmness. Then a peace of heart that transcends the mind’s understanding but soothes it nonetheless. Then, and only then, with blueprints firmly in place as those written on our hearts and minds, do we march onwards to embark on our journey, erecting towers of steadfast love, planting mighty oaks of faith, and harvesting the fruit of righteousness. On this journey alone do we find the fulfillment to our lustful hearts.
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Trust in the LORD, and do good;
dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
-Psalm 37:3-4
Did you write that? It’s good.
Thanks! Miss you sis